Thank you for everything,

If you know, you know

Tomorrow will be a big day, and i hope it will turn my life upside down. Please make it until tomorrow.

June 2021, isn’t as big as 2020’s June. It’s just my graduation, hopefully will be great, and my birthday. And my one year note from that point of my life. Life will never flat, and moving constantly, wheter you want it or not, believe it or not. From my point of view, it’s a story that must happen. I don’t know what will happen if that moment didn’t happen. You must be suffer more and more knowing how ugly…

As the world goes harsher and harsher, i, who have a dream of becoming a father one day, scare that future might be even harder to raise a kid with careful.
Information that goes by as fast as a wind blow, no matter how hard parents try to avoid it, wind always reach it’s place. Parents might not acknowledge it, because they just don’t know it.

The fear of my child will be consume by it or the one who consume it the most, will never settle.

I need to learn a lot, so that i could give much more.

Siapa sangka, kerja keras mu waktu itu, sangat membantuku saat ini. How ungrateful i am. I should be more thankful for what god gave me.
Just last night i dreamt about you, again, after like what, months of weird dream i guess, i dont know, i cant really remember. AND, the dream was a weird one too.

Ah, Quick note, i just start writing my so called “Tugas Akhir” and i already confuse what should i write, i really can’t keep up with this writing things. …

Do it like you did it in any game.

Karena aku seorang gamer, bisa dibilang suka game lah ya, dan belakangan ini aku nyadar apa yang menjadi kelebihan aku. Yaps, itu bermain game. Aku orang yang gampang beradaptasi dengan game-game baru, meskipun gak jadi master di game itu, tapi untuk memahami sebuah game baru, pasti cepet. Dari sini aku banyak belajar, terutama belakangan ini, apa yang aku lakukan pada game-game tersebut, bisa aku implementasikan pada kehidupan, cara belajar, dan memandang hidup. Dan lucunya, selama 22 tahun ini, aku udah main game dari tk, dan baru bisa nyadar sekarang. …

Tiba-tiba kepikiran ajah gitu, kalau nikah dan punya anak, dengan lingkungan masih seperti ini, pandemi, kericuhan, banyak hal yang tidak perlu dibesar-besarkan malah membludak heboh.

Tidak terbayangkan betapa berat beban nya kalau menikah, lalu punya anak, dengan kondisi sekarang. Belum lagi kalau aku menikah cepat, umur 23–25, mungkin terlalu dini untuk punya anak. Kondisi mental yang masih belum stabil, belum lagi beban kerja dan menanggung beban menafkahi keluarga. Ilmu yang didapat sampai sekarang pun masih belum cukup untuk mendidik anak. Apa yang mau diberikan ke anak kalau masih dalam kondisi seperti ini? …

I did it again, my chest feel so heavy at the moment, my mind going numb, i can’t even read something well.

I can’t stop thinking what exactly happen, so many thought, what you’ve been doing over there, with that man, i still cannot believe it.

Time, please help me

Your name with a yellow heart

Hai, i cried, again.

But it’s okay, it’s okay to cry, because it’s normal to cry. Man can cry too, so don’t worry about it.

I just cried because of how much i miss you, it’s been 1 year since we last meet. That day was Marvelous, nothing can replace that day. At least for now.

I still remember how you can’t let me go, i still remember everything.

Damn i cry again,

I just want to say,

I miss you,

I miss us

That’s how i great my gamer friends

Currently, i’m trying to improve my literature skill, i try to read book that could improve myself. and yes, my english still not that great because i learn it from musics, games, watching a lot of youtube video that using english, and try to thing in english. That’s where i learn english from.

Oh yeah, lately, my stress kinda built up, and it’s sucks. But i always listen to my friend podcast, from Psychology majoring,

Here is the link,

The podcast help me a lot tho, like how to Self Acceptance, Self…

Bendi Dadu [GPH]

This is how i Express my thought. Barbaric, no second thought, Raw, fresh from my skull. Even my mom said i can’t publish my thought for public. BAD ENGLISH

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